plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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