we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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