Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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