using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
