the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
