I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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