my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
