So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I could fuck to npr.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
