So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
