I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
