I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
