That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
