dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
