I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
