felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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