Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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