spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I lost the right to judge tonight
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
