just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
