It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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