Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
