so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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