Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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