there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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