Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
