He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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