I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
