Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
