# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
