You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
