he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
