I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
