Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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