Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize