Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
