Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
