I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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