so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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