he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize