her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
