If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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