just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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