it hurts more in the daytime
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
