Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
