i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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