i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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