I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
