That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My vagina just recognized that song.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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