when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
