Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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