HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
