I wish I could teleport
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
