They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
