Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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