A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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