ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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