Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
