Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
