I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
