if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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