OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
