it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
