After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
