You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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