Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
