Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
