it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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